Sometimes I’m a Poser


Hello and happy Monday to all! Hope everyone had a great day. Mine was pretty low key, but I did get my final paper back from my second reader with only a few grammatical errors!!! HOLLA!! That means I just have to change a few things, have it print and bound, and turn this sucka in!! Yippee skippee!!

I will post some eats later tonight during tv time, but I wanted to post a little something to think about.

I have been noticing lately that I have had a lot of negative self talk and I am not sure why, but anyways, it got me thinking, why is it ok, and so normal for women to find things to dislike about themselves?! (Also, I know men do this to). With the majority of women, there is no happy ending in self esteem.  What I mean is that some people concentrate on weight and think “I’ll be happy when I weigh this much” or others think of dress size “If I was just a size ___ I would be happy.”  The bad thing happens when you achieve those goals it seems that either you are still unhappy or you find something else to be negative about.  For instance, I overheard a woman at the gym the other day.  She was watching The View and said “omg, IF ONLY I could look like Elizabeth Hasslebeck.” The main problem came in my mind when I heard later that she has lost 200 pounds!! That is so INSANELY AWESOME, but it was sad to hear her saying things insinuating that it just wasn’t enough.

And HOLY CRAP this woman on Tyra just said that she has an outdoor pool and in the summer (she’s a teacher) she will lay out in a swimsuit and swim, but when she hears her husbands truck she will run inside and cover up. She will not let him see her in a swimsuit. He has NEVER seen her in a swimsuit. How horrible?!?!

Why would anyone want to live like that if they can help it (which we all can).  So I REALLY am making a change. I have been eating to be healthy but a positive side effect has been maintaining a lower weight than I used to be. Well I can tell that I have been concentrating more on weight lately because over the past few months I’ve gained some poundage, and I’m TIRED of it. Also, I see pics of women who might weigh more than me and think “her body rocks!!!” yet I’m unhappy with my own body still?!? It makes zero sense.  So, I’m not doing it anymore. No more weighing, no more scales, no more beating myself up because I “feel fat” today. I’m over it. I’m eating healthy food because I like it and it makes me feel good, and when I eat something “bad” I’m not going to feel bad anymore (I apologize I have been kind of a poser, because sometimes I pretend like I don’t care when I ate a bunch of snacks when I really do!!) I really feel like I am taking a step in the right direction because 2 weeks ago I cut my workouts down to 5 a week because thats NORMAL!! I don’t like feeling bad when I miss a day, and I don’t deserve it.

I’m saying that today, I think I’m pretty f*cking great, and I think every single one of you are too. And I will rock a swimsuit this summer and OF COURSE let Joey see it 🙂 HA!

Few years back at my heaviest in a swimsuit!! Ahhh!!! Putting all the cards on the table here!!

Please share any thoughts, techniques, or times when you have been a poser and how you are not gonna do it anymore!!

*And a side note, I am NOT saying I was fat or anything in this picture, but it was at my unHEALTHiest and unHAPPYest (yes I know I spelled that wrong, but it looks better like this, hahaha)

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8 Responses

  1. OWN IT GIRL! Jill I ❤ YOU!

  2. Jill, you are awesome. There is no reason to feel bad about taking rest days during the week. You are taking care of yourself, writing, exercising, eating well, what more can you do? You look gorgeous in that picture, by the way. It is sad when girls wait until they weigh a certain number until to let themselves wear a bathing suit. I don’t own a scale, but I do own my body and I know that it likes where it is at right now, and I do, too!

  3. even tho ur putting the cards out on the table.. the cards are in ur favor. UR HOT! it doesnt matter how u look, ur confident, beautiful, and charismatic.

    im glad u shared this with us. we luv u all the more for being who u are ❤

    xoxo

  4. You at your HEAVIEST!!!?!?? You look AMAZING!!!

  5. you know what’s really horrible? the fact that you watch tyra, and admit it out loud.

    hahaha i’m sorry, i couldn’t resist.

    but you are awesome, and beautiful, and i love you, and i will see you in 4 days! Eeeeee!!

  6. Ok, first of all that picture of you is pretty gorgeous!! You are rockin that swimsuit, seriously girl!!!!!!!

    And I can totally relate… I always thought all my problems would go away when I finally got skinny and when I did finally get “skinny” I still thought I needed to work on my body – I was never happy with myself. And it was actually one of the darker times in my life. Now I weigh about 20 pounds more, but I am so much happier with my body b/c my attitude has totally changed. We all just need to LOVE and appreciate the amazing things our bodies can do.

  7. You are awesome! I love the attitude you are taking towards your body and exercise! Good for you!

    Also….BIG CONGRATS on almost being done with your paper…such an accomplishment!

  8. There will always be something or someone “better” in our eyes so it definitely is important to be happy with who you are where you’re at. It is tough, but rewarding beyond belief the more you believe those good things about yourself.

    And, yea you are gorgeous! Even that picture of your “unhealthiest” still looks pretty darn healthy and fit to me. I wouldn’t think anything negative about that picture at all.

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